Masturbation Offsets & Porn Blockers

I have downloaded my final online porn video, thanks to a Christian company that puts smut irreversably beyond one's reach. The company was founded by a man called Ned who claims his business proves that "what the enemy meant for evil, God will turn to the good for those that love Him". Hmm well I'm not really sure about that Ned but thanks for providing the service.

In an accompanying gesture I made a £250 donation to Women's Aid.

And thus, hopefully:

• 1 small step for the emotional toddler
• 2 small steps for womankind
  

The curse of Onan?

Or have I touched dog shit and not washed my hands? Or is it the hangover? Or am I just getting old?

Sometimes my eyes just fail. I was walking down the corridor and a colleague was stood in a doorway staring in my direction. But I couldn't tell if she was smiling or looking behind me or at me or what - everything was blurred. So I half-looked and half-smiled to hedge my bets.

On last night's tube I was checking out a small, beautiful, frowning girl. It developed into such naughty eyeballing I almost cracked up. She likely inspires a lot of hopeful messages to the London Paper lovestruck feature.

And there's a nice IT technicienne who came into work today. I thought about trying to amuse her but, right under the bosses nose, it would have taken more chutzpah than I possess.

What a piece of work is a man

Savaged by Mariella in this week's Observer Magazine...

There's something questionable about going to the UK's leading man-basher for relationship advice but I've always been a glutton for punishment.

A nice headline - the OM subeditors must have saved it up for a true villain. Well I'm not as bad as they imagine.

Ouch though. Emotional Toddler.